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Sadism and coffee


I’m sitting with my daughter in the booth of this cafe in an undisclosed location. It’s in a darkened Kansas town, I can tell you that much. The chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes on my plate remain unfinished as I’ve been furiously sipping black coffee without the riff raff and scribbling ideas on napkins. I’ve been at it since the Michigan State-Duke game played on the overhead TV screen near the pool tables and lit up Pabst Blue Ribbon sign and kings fell as they sometimes do.

Shortly, the waitress will take my plate, possibly refill my cup and I’ll fantasize about having an affair with her or some other waitress. Just for the idea of it. Writers, they say, innately know that most of us feel our lives stuck in neutral and want some transformative adventure to bring us to an epiphany.

Also, I think I’d be a better guy (or fictionalized version of myself) to start sleeping with a waitress than the high school teacher/novelist character on season 1 of that Showtime series I’ve been watching on Netflix -- The Affair. I didn’t know what direction to take. Grantchester, the BBC series about the Anglican priest who solves crimes with the detective in the 1950s? Enlightened, a show I’d be drawn to because the main character, played by Laura Dern, had to find her way back from a mental breakdown? Broadchurch, the British serial crime drama influenced by the American David Lynch classic, Twin Peaks? Also, to my chagrin, I’m behind a few seasons on Shameless and the backbone character, the glue that binds all the series’ other characters, Fiona, played by Emmy Rossum, is leaving the show. Anyhow, that’s the show my childhood friend -- the world beating, yoga exercising, Janis Joplin sunglasses wearing -- Suzanne turned me onto. Our mutual friend, Donald, has the chronically serio-comedic alcoholic patriarch Frank Gallagher as his Facebook profile picture.

Meanwhile, I feel some pop-cultural responsibility to introduce my kids to such truly artful classics as Love, American Style, All in the Family, the first two seasons of Happy Days, Columbo, The Rockford Files and Three’s Company (the Suzanne Somers years).

Out of such a plethora of choices, I decided to watch The Affair because the idea of otherwise decent, but flawed, wounded characters reacting to temptation, addictive drives and the ripple of fallen actions and ramifications that stem from those fascinate me, and I’m always looking for ideas that can help me improve as a writer. I don’t know, I think the waitress character, Allison Lockhart (Ruth Wilson) is interesting and a bit alluring as the sad, complicated woman grieving the loss of a child, but her lover, the writer Noah Solloway (Dominic West) is kind of a dick, which would be okay if I felt any connection to him or could see why she’d be attracted, but I don’t. The old guy who plays Noah’s famous, wealthy, novelist father-in-law, is a dick, but he plays his character well. He’s good and fun to watch as an asshole.

I’m not sure it will be worth it, but there’s some sort of murder mystery unfolding in The Affair and I might be rewarded if I continue watching, but having characters you care about is more important than plot. I guess I’ll give it a chance, evaluate and see if my opinion evolves. But an interesting premise alone isn’t going to turn a show into The Sopranos. As for watching a writer with a fucked up life, I was more drawn to David Duchovny’s character, the drinking, drugging, sex addicted Hank Moody in the Showtime comedy, Californication. It was fun watching this guy mess up his life and try to lift himself out of the hole he’d dug for himself.

I’m only a sadist with regard to the characters I create, read about and watch on screens. My own fuck-ups, or shortcomings, if you will, well I’m not going to play fast and loose with them here, but if you’re a regular reader of this blog you have an idea. Masochism -- it’s not entirely foreign to me, but I think my pain tolerance is at some pussified level.

Well, I better get my ass outa’ here. Waitress took my plate. I’m giving her a tip and taking my sleeping daughter home. Hope you have peace.

"TV is the Latest Thing" -- Dinah Washington

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